fallingstarz.net

Daily Inspirations

2010-02-16T23:00:00.000-08:00

Today we at fallingstarz.net received a quick dose of old-age realization. Earlier this month, Super Mario Bros. 3 turned 20 YEARS OLD!!! It seems like just yesterday we were eating feathers, growing a tail, and flying high into the air to collect gold coins. Naturally, we are paying homage to the inspiring story of a young man's quest to cross this fine nation and compete against other children with social inadequacies in an attempt to equate our deceased sister with a Cabazon Dinosaur. That film is none other than, Fred Savage commercial vehicle, The Wizard!!! (aka one giant commercial for Super Mario Bros. 3.....We hope Jenny Lewis makes a triumphant return to commercial success!

I lost 40 pounds, but gained a PENIS!!

2010-02-15T20:49:00.000-08:00

Ok, we all know fallingstarz.net's affinity towards real-girl trannies...meaning any woman that is constantly confused for a drag queen...i.e. Tyra, Kimora, Joan Rivers, Margaret Thatcher, and Michelle Obama, but we are now cancelling our meal plan from NutriSystem because the meal supplements have turned the beloved doll-making bitch Marie Osmond into just another Osmond brother. She is giving us Hedwig meets Elvira meets Kardashian with a 40 pound weave. Also, we are so glad that Amy shows us how just eating crappy food gives you a six pack and a tan. Thanks Amy!!

Fist Pumpin' into our hearts!!

2010-02-15T19:59:00.000-08:00

Meet the newest member of the Jersey Shore - Jenilee "Jubilee" D'Angelo-Houghton. Jubilee fought her way through a sea of acrylic nails, bad weaves, pickles, and a haze of spray tan to earn the illustrious title of Jersey Shore Season 2 cast member!! Congrats to "the nicest bitch you'll ever know: Jenilee Jubilee"!

Sashay...You Stay!!

2010-02-15T19:37:00.000-08:00

fallingstarz.net would like to congratulate co-creator Mike Harrison for his mid-season entry into the cult-classic LOGO hit, Rupaul's Drag Race!! Tune in this week as Harrison (drag name: Tuna Fey) goes fish to fish against Italian favorite and fs fanatic Josy Castellano (drag name: FrAngelo). Let's hope the challenge doesn't involve watering plants or jarring sauce because Harrison will be toast, unless its that time of the month! May the best WOMAN win...and remember "Don't F##k it up!"

Separated at Birth!!

2010-02-15T19:20:00.000-08:00

Samantha Ronson

vs.

Lesbian Flamingo

Overdressed and Underappreciated

2010-02-14T22:03:00.000-08:00

This past week marked the 78546th re-launch of ground-breaking website fallingstarz.net. And you know the saying, the 78546th time is the charm! The A-list attended soiree was held at Chelsea Heights hot spot, Molly Wee's Pub. Surprise attendees Jason Ratliff and Shelly Milam, hot off their European tour of the staged musical sensation "Go Diego Go!" Ratliff and Milam inexplicably dressed in 1920's ish garb but showed their support for all things celebrity and the wit, brilliance, inconsistent motivation and genius of Mike and Rachel.

Attention Richmond!!!!

2010-02-14T21:53:00.001-08:00

FS co-creators Mike Harrison and Rachel Ralston will be signing pieces of paper brought by YOU, our FS fans - be it poster, receipt, embroidered napkin, or tampon wrapper - at famed cupcakery FROSTINGS!!! We know the weather has been treacherous, so luge your way on over (too soon??) to 11331 West Broad Street, Suite 137, Glen Allen, VA 23060. Ask for Matt and tell him HE WINS!!! Enjoy!

(Monica, if you do read this, we're not really coming to Richmond. Apologies, lets plan a date STAT!!! We miss you!!!)

We Vote Corbin!!!

2010-02-14T21:50:00.000-08:00

FS co-creators are steps closer to fulfulling their destiny of meeting their idol....the one and only Corbin Bleu. Stay tuned as they continue to discuss the possbility of attending his Broadway debut.

Boobs for days...

2010-02-14T21:39:00.000-08:00

Following the steps of her idol, Heidi Montag, Real Housewife of Shirley, New York Monica Jones (aka best friend to Connie Selleca) enhanced her already ample bosom to epic proportions. FS co creators ran into Jones at a NYC fashion week shoot, modeling the high end Korea Town jewelry collection. Jones is excited about the upcoming straight-to-DVD release "LIRR Lady of the Night" and album "Finger to the Right." (P.S. rachel wrote this one.)

What the Canuck???

2010-02-14T20:54:00.000-08:00

While 33 Million strong tuned in to witness the glorious Vancouver opening ceremony, fs co-creators Rachel Ralston and Mike Harrison were a little perplexed by the overall theme. Why was Bob Ross there? Was he Canadian? Was The Drew Carey Show a huge Canadian hit? We understood the use of whores and robots...strongly Canadian themes! None of these questions compare to the unforgivable exclusion of Craig, Manny, Paige, Spin, Holly J, Marco.....hell, we would've even taken a glimpse of Terri (the fat one who fell on a rock) for some Degrassi love...THE TRUE DEFINITION OF CANADIAN CULTURE! shout out to Being Erica.

Golden Lucky!!

2010-02-14T20:38:00.000-08:00

China scored their first gold medal this evening due to the heroic athleticism of Asian speed skater Jo Philbin. Obviously her asianess limits her to two sports, math and speed skating....(violin is not a sport) fallingstarz was there to capture the gold medal ceremony, led by CNN's Christiane Amanpour (seen on the left). Congrats Jo...what a way to ring in this Chinese New Year!!!

Lookin for some HOT STUFF!!!! sha na na na.....

2010-02-14T20:16:00.000-08:00

What would we do baby....without NYC fashion week? fallingstarz has been living at the tents this week and witnessed the highs and lows (Raven Simone) of this year's designs. fs was invited to Zac Posen's star studded afterparty to celebrate his recent showing of NYFD inspired evening wear. Rachel and Mike had the pleasure of running into America's Next Top Model Winner for Cycle 7, Ms. Kerry Johnson Bailey!!! We know that Kerry is a huge fan of fs, but we owe it to our readers to report the scandalous canoodling between Kerry and 1980's sitcom superstar, Mr. Michael Gross (aka Steven Keaton of Family Ties fame)! This man was looking for somewhere to put his HOSE..get it? And more importantly, what would Meredith Baxter (aka Meredith Baxter-Birney) say?...other than Kerry is HOT!!!

You are NOT the father!!!

2010-02-14T19:58:00.000-08:00

fs creators Mike Harrison and Rachel Ralston recently encountered their own dramatic daytime tv event. The two were entangled in a torrid love triangle and messy paternity battle with "Passions" hunk, Ryan Larson. After discovering she was seven months pregnant, a la that show where people have toilet babies or sweatpants babies, Ralston had only one place to turn. No, not Corbin Bleu or Planned Parenthood - the one, the only,

MR. MAURY POVICH

Tune into the CW at 2 am eastern time on February 23rd to find out who IS the father??

Daily Inspiration: Valentine's Day Edition

2010-02-14T19:47:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day to our loyal FS readers!! In honor of this romantic and love filled holiday, fallingstarz would like to honor and inspire others with one of the staples of modern American love stories: that of natural beauties David Gest and Ms. Liza Minelli. These two remind us of what is truly meaningful in a successful relationship: love, money, closeted homosexuality, and a possible vh1 reality show.

Daily Inspiration for February 10th

2010-02-10T00:30:00.000-08:00

Today, fallingstarz co creators Rachel Ralston and Mike Harrison are in a gift giving mood. So we would like to give a tip of the hat to Mr. Jerry Orbach's eyeballs because "Jerry Orbach gave his heart and soul to acting, and the gift of sight to two New Yorkers."

Much like any female lead on the Lifetime Movie Network, Jerry Orbach was a gifted actor, but his greatest role was that of an eye donor. We thank you Mr. Orbach for your daily reminder, on every single subway car, that we can all give more! See you and your eyes on the next Law and Order Marathon on either TBS or TNT or USA or one of those channels that we would never watch.

happy belated birthday Norbespierre!

2010-02-10T00:26:00.000-08:00

Our favorite plump, andouille sausage pup turned 5 yesterday! We thank Norbert for being adorable, vivacious, and a huge burden on co-creator Mike Harrison's life!

Best Season EVER!!!

2010-02-10T00:22:00.001-08:00

This is a new patient on this season's Celebrity Rehab! We at fallingstarz would like to send a message of hope to FS fan and socialite Katie Blalock. Ms. Blalock checked into the Pasadena Medical Clinic for this season of Celebrity Rehab with a debilitating addiction to reality shows and schmoopi french bulldogs. We wish you the best on your road to recovery!!!

The new Match.com commercial

2010-02-09T23:52:00.000-08:00

We at fallingstarz thought this was a commercial for Match.com, so imagine our surprise halfway through the commercial when she eludes being raped and pillaged. Also, in the beginning of the commercial, our beloved ingénues has no idea who this guy is, well then answer us how he got an invite to her wine and cheese party.

Free Bindi!!!

2010-02-09T23:48:00.001-08:00

Try and prepare emotionally and physically for the most anticipated Straight to DVD release since "The Land Before Time XXXVIII", "Free Willy: Escape from Pirate’s Cove" starring the beautifully untalented and exploitative Bindi Irwin. Our copy is already on back order!!!

Let the COUNTDOWN Begin!!!!

2010-02-09T23:46:00.000-08:00

Let the countdown begin!!! The biggest day in fallingstarz history (and frankly the culmination of hard work, determination, and a failed restraining order) is just around the corner…..co creators Rachel Ralston and Mike Harrison will be meeting THE CORBIN BLEU!!!…..We are only a week away from the heavens parting and the decent of the blessed angles shining their light center stage on our beloved Corbin as he continues his run in the Broadway hit, "In The Heights". We shall keep you posted on the stage door scene created by yours truly at the new fallingstarz!!!

Lace Up Those PUMPS!!!

2010-02-09T23:16:00.000-08:00

A victory by "Team Gloryhole", a Betty White Snickers commercial, Guys Gone Wild and Making of a Rugby Calendar pre show, all whilst serving pigs in a blanket....the 3rd annual Gay Superbowl was quite a success.

The Gay Superbowl was created in 2008 as a celebration of "Back in Pictures" star Brian DeCaluwe's secession from Mount Prospect, Illinois' strongly hetero societal grip. Fallingstarz would like to congratulate Nathan Garland for his well deserved MVP prize package.

Team Gloryhole stole plays directly out of the John Madden handbook that included such gems as: the Vogue Attack, the Fake Injury, Playing Dead whilst on Defense, the Fish Lift, and the deadly Hug-it-Out. Fallingstarz co-creators Rachel Ralston and Mike Harrison would like to encourage all of their closeted FS fans to possibly come out during the Spring and Summer months because it was too damn cold.

Heather O'Rourke aka Carol Anne is right! fallingstarz is back!!!

2010-02-08T23:37:00.000-08:00

Tens of you asked,

Four of you asked again,

and with incredible recent events such as:

-Corbin Bleu's Broadway Debut (and thus our inevitable friendship status)
-Camila Alves' attempt to be a celebrity or even tackle the English language
-Heidi Fleiss' poor deflated crack lips plump their way into our hearts
-RuPaul's Drag Race Season 2 premiere
-Lifetime Movie Network's obsession with the cinematic masterpiece "Normal Adolescent Behavior" that asks us the question, "What's so heroic about conquering the labia?"
-The 3rd annual Gay Superbowl
-Taylor Swift and Stevie Nicks' performance at the Grammys.. giving us a reason to start cutting a la Ellie from Degrassi
-Corbin Bleu's beating heart

How could we keep silent?????

New Format. New Posts. Same loveable co-creators Rachel Ralston and Mike Harrison working tirelessly to bring you the latest in "All Things Celebrity!!!"

We promise to bring you the drama, the inspirations, and the hard-hitting posts about what matters most...... the daily updates about people that we do not know doing semi-interesting things that are mildly entertaining.

We know you've missed Corbin and Robin Gibb and Britney....they are all back for our new premiere.

If Whitney can make a comeback, so can FS!!!

It's good to be back.....